Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
