i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
