brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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