Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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