id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
