I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
