Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do vagina's smell?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
