Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my nose is crying tears of wow.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
