I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm too high and old for this...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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