Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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