One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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