Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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