Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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