I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
