just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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