Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
