her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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