that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
