everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
