This girl is more easily done than said...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
