he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
