We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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