Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
