4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
