You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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