all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
