before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
