Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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