i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
