the condom got lost in my hair
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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