i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
