I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
