It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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