If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
did i just pee glitter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
