I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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