my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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