You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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