I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize