Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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