Don't you send me to vm
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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