How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
