shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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