I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
