I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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