Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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