Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
