Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
