Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can you bring me the toilet please
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize