Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
