it hurts more in the daytime
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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