I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
